Trash Talk

Well here in down town Birmingham it is raining cats and dogs, a bit chilly on the exposed parts of the anatomy, and the Autumn leaves are gathering en-masse like decaying small failed X factor participants pleading for sanctuary in my pleasantly warm abode.

So, assuming these are the good and bad in society, who would I let in to warm their chilled bones and feed with a banquet of buttered toast… and who would I leave to freeze?

Up On The Boardwalk

Mexican Cuisine

I love Mexican food!!! Ladies, any of you out there looking to get into my good books – feed me mexican food!!! Fajitas, tostadas, and my favourite, nachos coated in beef chilli, lovingly soaked in an abundance of guacamole, soured cream and spicy salsa, and peppered with jalapeños!!! Washed down with a few cheeky Tequilas and lashings of Margaritas – Lovely!

Clive Dunn

Sadly, Clive Dunn passed away at the grand old age of 92, an age he probably closely portrayed about 40 years ago as Lance Corporal Jones in the wonderfully enduring comedy classic ‘Dad’s Army‘. His legacy, the classic lines oft repeated by sit-com aficionados of all ages – ‘Don’t panic, don’t panic‘ and my favourite, ‘They don’t like it up ’em Captain Mainwaring‘. Priceless!

Source: Clive Dunn, Dad’s Army actor, dies aged 92

Edward Jenner

Edward Jenner was recently featured on Andrew Marr’s ‘History of the World‘. Jenner’s revolutionary scientific research into immunisation saw him develop a vaccine against the disfiguring and often deadly smallpox disease which blighted this country in the 18th century. His vaccine eradicated this disease world wide. Well done that man!

Source: Edward Jenner

Socks and Chocs for the Homeless 2012

A wonderful local initiative to provide homeless people in Birmingham, Coventry and Wolverhampton with a few basic home comforts at Christmas. Last year they donated over 1800 pairs of socks and 2000 pieces of chocolate in addition to 150 sleeping bags. Shamelessly added to ‘Up on the Boardwalk‘.

Source: Socks and Chocs for the Homeless 2012

Meanwhile Down In The Sewer

Roberto Mancini

Possibly the most irritating smug-faced arse’ole of a manager in the English Premier League. Now, this is one ‘ell of an achievement considering the distinguished level of competition he is up against. This man can moan, he moans about referees, he moans about journalists questions, he moans about not being treated with enough RESPECT moan, moan, moan… A manager who must be considered a failure when you consider the huge resources he has at his disposal. With his team’s current showing in Europe this year, he looks like he is going to even miss out on Channel 5’s Thursday night football showcase. Move over Roberto… Pep Guardiola is coming to get you!

Source: Manchester City’s Roberto Mancini demands respect ahead of Ajax game

Trick or Treat

Now, I don’t want to sound like a moaning old git, even though I am pleased to say that I am working extremely hard to perfect this technique, but is there anything more annoying than people knocking on your door for ‘Trick or Treat‘? It is even more annoying when it’s older kids who have not even bothered to attire themselves in anything that closely resembles a fancy dress costume!!! I’m sorry America but please, please, please reclaim this tradition back from us, and let all true indigenous British people make a resolve to re-establish our wonderful historical tradition. ‘Penny for the Guy‘ … and don’t get me started about Christmas!!!

Furniture Delivered for Christmas

F*cking Christmas adverts that emblazon our TV screens from the beginning of October!!! What the f*ck is that all about? And why would anyone want to buy furniture for delivery by Christmas? Surely you would want it delivered after Christmas? You know your Christmas visitors, with their snotty faced children who will crush the remains of their Christmas trifle into your draylon covered pride and joy, your snoozing grandparents who will dribble the remnants of one too many snowball cocktail concoctions onto the arm of your sofa from their drooling mouths, and a little dribble of pee from … nah don’t even go there…